A moment she can't bear
by shirisun
Summary: Alicia and Will finally get there moment, and it's not an easy one...


i do not own TGW ( wish i did..)

if anyone would like to comment on the story, it would be my pleasure to read your thoughts...

It was late. Nearly everyone left the office. Alicia was staring at the file on her desk. She was done for the day. She just needs to clear some of the details with Will as he is her first chair and she'l be on her way home.

Walking into his office she wasn't surprise to see that he was still there. Always the last one to leave.

"Hey". She said. He raised his eyes from the file he was reading." Hay". He said back and she notice haw tired he looked.

"I just wanted you to look over at the Brown case, but it can wait for tomorrow", she was tired herself. She knew she had another press conference tomorrow, with Peter, and she was not looking forward to it. All she wanted to do is get in her bed and sleep for internety.

Yea I guess it can wait" said will. Taking the file from her."

"Good night", she said and he nodded and smiled at her. She was almost by the door when she suddenly heard him call her:

"You wanted a moment"?

"What"? She turned around not sure what he meant…"the other day, when you phoned me, you said you needed a moment to talk"? She felt her body stiffen as he continued to remind her what she said "when thing are not so all over the place"? "This is as quiet as can be" he smiled at her, again with his tired smile and always kind eyes. Was there ever a time he wasn't good to her? She couldn't remember. "Alicia"? He woke her up from her daze..

Yes"? She asked back confused."

"You wanted a moment? Here is your moment. What's on your mind"? He got up from his desk and set back again on the couch his eye invites her to join him. She closed her eyes. Not sure what to do. Sure she wanted a moment in theory, but not now, she's not ready and she's tired and there's Peter press conference tomorrow and millions of other reasons, but truth was she was plain scared.

Whatever he say she'l need to deal with that, and there was plenty to fear from both rejection or..Or what? Her heart was beating fast. Her eyes still closed she was standing by the door.

Will finally realized this was series. Got up and walked towards her." Is everything o.k."? when she failed to answer he kept asking." Are you in some kind of trouble"? He looked at her, trying to pierce the poker face she was determine to keep on her eyes open now, his close proximity not helping her at all.

She bit her lip and with out a word took her place on his couch finding her knees a bit shaky. He joined her now truly intrigued by her strange behavior.

"I'm not sure haw to start so I'm just going to start o.k."? She said in a week voice. She didn't mean for it to come out like that, it just happened. "O.k." he reassured her. Keeping eye contact.

"And what ever it is its o.k." she keeps rambling, not getting to the point at all," I just need to know so don't feel obligated"…"Alicia". He cut her off. She looked at him puzzled. "What are you talking about"? Her troth was dry and he seems to sense it, got up and got her some water. It was then that she just said it to his walking back..

"Did you leave me a second voice mail the day of Peter press conference"?

He stopped right there. From all the topics he thought she will bring up this wasn't it. He was over it. Over her, and her bringing it up…

He kept going to get the water, finding his own troth was dry and his face on fire.

"Will"? She kept asking. Now worried seeing he hasn't yet faced her." The thing is" she kept going …"Look". He stopped her. Finally turning to face her. He was shocked to see haw pail she was.

For a moment they just stared at each other not knowing what to say.

She finally stepped up rising from the couch her body is heavy. "The thing Is" she said in a shaky voice, closing her eyes deciding to go for the monologue with her eyes shut because that's the only way she'l pull true. "I only got one voice mail, the one saying to drop this, and I understood that I really did. And it was hard but it was o.k. until it wasn't anymore"...

He looked at her eyes closed this conversation was taking a toll on him, but on her as well. He never saw her like this. So row…

"Alicia", he wanted to stop this. Her. He didn't want to see her like this and frankly he was ready to flee out of the room himself.

She seemed to sense that he was nearing the edge and something inside her told her to go full force. She needed to get to the bottom of this, as embarrassing as it may be to both of them.

A few weeks ago I heard you on the tapes talking to wade"... "

Slap. That's what her words felt like to him. His mind was racing…What did she hear? His privacy invaded was the last straw." I'm done" he finally said.. "What"? She asked confused at his harsh interference. "I said were done. Talking about it, its history and a bad one at that so let's just move on from this. O.k.?" he said grabbing his jacked determine to leave. "Will"! She raised her voice. For all the years she known him she never done that and it was a shock for them boat. "I didn't get the other voice mail. Whatever it said, I need to know"! She looked at him hard, and determined. She is not going to let him walk from this. No way.

She took a breath and made small step towards him." Please"? She said her voice is softer now. "I just need to know, nothing has to change", she said trying to calm him down for he was clearly upset, she desperately wanted to know why.

He looked at her, her pleading eyes, and finally something click.

He looked away staring at the door, his way out, when he finally said in a low voice, not looking at her "But if you heard the tape you already know"…

"I don't"' she said, quietly matching his tone. "Will look at me" her voice grew confidence now, "I don't know there was a break on the tape so please tell me because I need"..Her voice betrayed her, cracking. He finally looked at her..."I need to know o.k.?"

He knew there and then that she was right. What ever happened to that bloody massage, he didn't care, they needed to clear the air.

He went and sat on the couch, she following his lead.

"I said"… he looked at her. Suddenly he didn't care anymore or was he caring to much? Is that even possible? The hell with it. "I said I loved you" slowly the words left his mouth, every word taking its weight, "And if a plan is what you want, than will make one together". Silence set between them as he looked away from her, not willing to meet here eyes. "Pretty foolish ha"? He laughs a bitter laugh.. Alicia just looked at him, stunned. His words spinning in her head. Her heart, thousand off different emotions inside her.

"No. not stupid at all" she said quietly once she found her voice back. He looked at her. For a moment they just stare at each other the truth finally between them. She was the first to lean in, her hand finding there way to his neck.."Alicia" he was trying to say, he knew this was wrong, he wasn't that guy anymore, but this was her and he wanted her for so long and here she was and something clearly changed because she wanted him, he sensed that and his heart was flowing to all kind off different places, and when there lips finally met it was passion and despair and comfort and love all rolled into one and he felt his head was spinning...

She was to, desperate to convey every bit off her emotion to this one kiss because she to felt he was fighting some battle with himself.

After what seemed like forever they finally went up for air, there forehead still touching, both overwhelmed from the intensity of there own emotions. She was still clutching at his shirt when he finally said in barely a whisper. "We can't do this". She felt her heart sink.. "Will" she pleaded…

"Are you ready to leave Peter"? He asked, forehead still touching, not really looking at her. His question took her by surprise. No words to answer. Was she ready to leave Peter? She was still debating with her self when he took her hands from his shirt, gently putting them back in her lap.

"I can't do this anymore". She looked at him, knew he was right, but feeling her heart breaking never the less. "I'm finally moving on", he told her, his eyes asking her forgiveness," and I'm entitled to be happy right"? She nodded; her eyes are on the verge of tears because here she is loosing him all over again." And you need to sort out your life" he told her, begging her really.

"And when I do"? She said, needing to hear some kind off promise that he will still be there for her, that maybe they still have a chance..

I don't know" he said smiling, again with that tired sad smile of his."

He got up and left his heart heavy; he was almost at the door when he heard her say those three little words. "For what it's worth..I do love you"…His heart stopped. He looked at her, beautiful and sad and everything he ever remembered wanting since he was old enough for it to count…

"I love you to" he told her. Both just staring at each other, all the missed opportunities standing between them. He took one more look at her and finally left, needing all his willpower to do that but knowing he needed to think of himself for once. He really can't do this anymore. So he left yet all he could think was "she loves" him. She really did, and he knew it's going to be a long drive home….

Alicia felt all the power drained from her as she sat on Wills couch staring at the dark office. "I love you" his words still hunting her, her heart full of happiness and misery mixed together… She knew she needed to ask her self some hard questions and sort out her life. He was right, and she needed to work fast because the one thing that scared her most, more then finding answers to those frightening questions that was her life, was the thought off loosing him for the third and last time.

She knew she can't bear that…


End file.
